Intertwined Reading Group Guide
Opening Thought
Loneliness is often described as the absence of people, but many of us know that isn’t true. Some of the loneliest moments happen in crowded rooms, busy neighborhoods, marriages, workplaces, and churches. In Intertwined, the journey begins with the discovery that loneliness cannot survive a trusted circle.
1. Loneliness Is More Common Than We Admit
Research consistently shows that loneliness is widespread, even among people who appear socially connected.
- Tell us about a season when you felt lonely.
- What was happening in your life at the time?
- Did anyone around you know how lonely you were?
- What made it difficult to talk about?
2. Loneliness Often Arrives During Transition
Many friendships are disrupted during major life changes—marriage, motherhood, divorce, relocation, retirement, grief, or caregiving.
- Which life transition affected your friendships the most?
- Were there relationships you expected to survive that didn’t?
- What surprised you about that season?
3. Independence Can Hide Loneliness
Many women learn to cope by becoming highly self-sufficient.
- Have you ever convinced yourself that you didn’t need anyone?
- What did that independence protect you from?
- What did it cost you?
4. We Often Wait for Someone Else to Go First
Friendships frequently begin because one person takes a small risk.
- Think about an important friendship in your life.
- Who made the first move?
- What might have happened if neither person had reached out?
5. The Myth of “Everyone Else Has Their People”
When we feel lonely, we often assume everyone else already belongs somewhere.
- Have you ever walked into a room feeling like everyone else was already connected?
- Was that perception accurate?
- How did it affect your willingness to engage?
6. Loneliness Changes How We See Ourselves
Extended loneliness can make people question their worth, likability, or place in the world.
- Have you ever interpreted a lack of connection as something being wrong with you?
- Looking back, what would you say to that version of yourself now?
- How has your perspective changed?
7. Small Invitations Change Lives
Many lifelong friendships begin with surprisingly ordinary moments.
- Tell us about a simple invitation that had a larger impact than the person making it probably realized.
- Have you ever been afraid to extend an invitation?
- What held you back?
8. The First Circle Matters
Before friendships deepen, people need a place to begin.
- Where have you most often met friends—neighborhoods, work, church, school, hobbies, volunteering?
- Which environments make connection easiest for you?
- Which make it hardest?
9. Grief Reveals the Strength of a Circle
One of the themes of Intertwined is that the friendships that carry us through loss are usually built long before we need them.
- Who has shown up for you during a difficult season?
- What did they do that mattered most?
- What kind of friend do you hope to be when someone else faces hardship?
10. What Loneliness Cannot Survive
Loneliness may survive achievement, busyness, and self-sufficiency. It struggles to survive genuine belonging.
- What does “belonging” mean to you?
- When have you felt most connected and accepted?
- What kind of circle are you hoping to build in this season of life?
Closing Reflection
Before next week, consider this question:
If you could create the friendships you hope to have five years from now, what would you begin doing differently today?
Optional Challenge
Reach out to one person this week:
- Send a text.
- Invite someone for coffee.
- Follow up after a conversation.
- Reconnect with an old friend.
Small invitations often become the beginning of something much larger.
